Snape, Meet Herbal Essences
by Phaerie
Summary: [one-shot] Snape likes a girl? -SHOCK- She's a Hufflepuff? -DOUBLE SHOCK- Snape's hair and shampoo meet for the first time ever? -TRIPLE SHOCK- Click the link and find out what's happening.


A/N: Ah, don't you just love it when random plot bunnies pop out of no where with the most amusing plot lines ever? I don't know if this has ever been done, I've never read something like this, of course I don't frequent the Snape fics, but if it has, I'm not copying anyone. I just had to post this! Just a ickle one-shot, hope you enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: Phaerie doesn't own. That's why she writes fanfiction. Because she's pathetic and can't come up with anything original. But don't hold that against her.  
  
Genre: Humour/Romance  
  
Rating: PG for a mushy-kissy moment.  
  
Summary: A girl likes Severus Snape!? -SHOCK- He likes her too!? -DOUBLE SHOCK- She's a Hufflepuff!? -TRIPLE SHOCK- Shampoo and Snape's hair meet for the first time ever!? -4-something..SHOCK- What AM I on about? You'll have to read to find out!~ ^__^  
  
Time Period: So all of you know, this takes place when Snape is in his 6th year. Fae's in her sixth year, too. Now you're all asking, 'who's Fae?', though some of you clever ones have already figured out that she's the Hufflepuff mentioned in the summary. Kudos to you!  
  
-:-Snape, meet Herbal Essences-:-  
  
Severus Snape was by far the slimiest and greasiest of all the Slytherins ever to grace Hogwarts with their prescence, literally. He had black oily hair that reached down to his shoulders and always wore the slimiest scowl anyone had ever seen. It was common knowledge that Snape had no idea as to what shampoo was, much less applied it to his hair, which desperately needed it. But one girl was determined to change that.  
  
Fae Greenwood was a Hufflepuff on a mission. Sure, Huffies weren't known for their bravery, or wit, or cunning, but for their honesty and loyalty. They were the softies, always willing to help those in need. And Severus Snape was in need of some serious help. By now you're probably thinking, 'Yes, he does need help. But from a Hufflepuff? Shouldn't she be terrified of him or something?' Fae was a different kind of Hufflepuff. She was honest, yes, but brutally so, and terribly loyal to those she cared about. Not only was her manner different from that of the average Hufflepuff, but also her appearance. She was rather short, well, compared to most girls in her year; she wore the same robes as everyone else, with the exception of her outrageous accessories; but what made her stick out the most was her hair - her bright pink hair that she wore in pigtails, one always half the size of the other. She had vowed that one day Snape's hair and shampoo would meet! Her golden opportunity was quickly approaching, seriously.  
  
Snape had just turned a corner and was now in the same corridor as Fae, the same EMPTY corridor. This was her chance. He stalked past her, sneer firmly in place, without even sparing her a glance. Now that's odd, Fae thought to herself. He would usually at least send a glare and scathing remark her way when they passed, if he was in a bad mood; he'd just look at her until she lifted her eyes to his, blush, and continue on when he was in a good mood. It wasn't blatantly obvious, but Fae new that he liked her, even if it was just a itty bitty bit. Peels of laughter floated through the halls and realization dawned. The Marauders were up to their tricks again. Picking on her poor Sevie. Now that just wasn't nice! Oh, well, she thought silently, I'll worry about that later - I have more important things to attend to at the moment!  
  
She swiftly pulled out her wand, aiming just between Snape's shoulder blades, and hit him with her best stunning spell, which, in reality, wasn't all that good, he'd snap out of it within an hour, but it got the job done. Casting a levitating charm on Snape's now-lifeless body she led him into a girls' lavatory. But not just any lavatory, Moaning Myrtle's lavatory.  
  
( ^ ^) ( ^ ^ ) (^ ^ )  
  
Snape's eyes snapped open as his brain finally picked up the fact he wasn't breathing. Ah, there was the problem, he was under water. Wait, what was he doing under water!? He jerked his head out of the sink, gasping for breath. A small chuckle to his right averted his attention to his pink-haired companion.  
  
"Greenwood," his right eye twitched as he gave her a questioning glare.  
  
"Snape!~" she sang out jovially, grinning widely.  
  
"Would you mind explaining why I just woke up in a sink filled to the brim with water?"  
  
"Of course! Because filling it to the brim with pudding would have just been silly!" she answered him mockingly.  
  
"I'm not in the mood for your games, Fa-Greenwood."  
  
"You almost called me Fae!" she sniggered behind her hand, "Merlin, those Marauders must have pulled some mighty good pranks on you for you to be this upset.." she commented as she crossed her arms and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.  
  
"That," Snape practically snarled, "is none of your bloody business."  
  
"You're right," she rolled eyes to the ceiling then let them fall back on him, tilting her head in a thoughtful manner, "Definitely a Fruit Fusions Purifying for Normal to Oily Hair.." she muttered to herself before grabbing his arm and thrusting him down into one of those awesome-chairs-that-they-have-at-salons-that-are-fun-to-spin-around-in that he hadn't noticed before. She threw a green cloth over him and tied it behind his neck.  
  
"What the-" Snape sprang up fomr the chair only to quickly sink back down into it when Fae pulled out her wand on him.  
  
"You're to sit there and be a good boy, understand?" she asked with a look in her eyes that told him he had better comply or else. Snape nodded numbly. Fae turned away form him and whispered a spell under her breath. Instantly, a bottle of green shampoo, a brush, and a pair of rubber gloves appeared by the sink.  
  
Fae grinned evilly at Snape as she pulled the gloves on and squirted some shampoo into her hand, "This is going to be fun!"  
  
"What is?" Moaning Myrtle asked as she floated out of one of the stalls where she'd been crying in the U-bend, "And what are you doing in here? Aren't you a boy?" Myrtle surveyed Snape questioningly.  
  
"Oh, hullo there, Myrtle! Good to see you again! I was just about to wash Snape here's hair. How's your day been?" Fae asked in a friendly way, slapping the shampoo down onto Snape's head and causing little gooey bits to fly in all directions.  
  
"Oh it's been just dreadful...." and as Myrtle began to complain to Fae about how mean everyone was to her, Snape dozed off while Fae was gently massaging his head.  
  
( ^ ^) ( ^ ^ ) (^ ^ )  
  
"DONE!" Snape snapped back awake as Fae declared her task finished with great triumph in her voice, "I'm a miracle worker, I am." Myrtle nodded her agreement, actually smiling.  
  
"He looks much better with that ugly mop he called hair washed and pulled back, and that silver ribbon you used to hold it back accents his eyes beautifully," she complimented Fae's work.  
  
"How bad is it?" Snape asked, his voice edging toward severe panic, as he wasn't facing the mirror.  
  
"Oh! Relax, Snape! You look absolutely smashing, if I do say so myself!" Fae grabbed his shoulders and spun him around in the chair.  
  
Snape stared into the mirror, his Slytherin visage shattered by the look of pure horror plastered on his face. "I look like bloody Black!" he spit out, deep hatred lacing his every word.  
  
"Oh, no! You're not nearly as sexy as him!" Fae assured him cheerfully, "but you are kind of sexy, in your own Sevie kind of way!"  
  
"Sevie?" Snape asked hesitantly while glaring at Fae's reflection in the mirror.  
  
"Sevie!" she affirmed with a nod.  
  
"What's that supposed to be?"  
  
"You're new nickname!"  
  
"New? I never had an old nickname."  
  
"Oh yes you did, Snivellus!" Myrtle said teasingly, jumping back into the conversation. He sent her a glare that would have caused her to drop dead, had that blasted snake not beaten him to it. Myrtle laughed at him floated back over to her stall singing softly, and her exit was noted by the loud SPLASH as she made back for her U-bend.  
  
( ^ ^) ( ^ ^ ) (^ ^ )  
  
"Well, as pleasent an experience this has been, I must make my escape while I still can and see if I can't do something about disaster you've brought upon my hair." Snape drawled as he made for the door some time later. He was aware of a pink blur moving into his peripheral vision before the short girl jumped in front of him, blocking the door.  
  
"You could at least thank me," Fae told him indignantly.  
  
"What for? From what I can see, you've only made it worse!" he snapped at her.  
  
He would have expected her to run off crying, or throw an insult back at him, or maybe even sock him in the gut. But what he didn't expect was for her to stand on her tip-toes, hands on his chest, and kiss him full on the lips. She pulled back and tried to hide her laughter behind her hand at his deer-in-headlights expression.  
  
"I think it makes you look much more kissable! Oh, and you need to loosen up a bit, you're so tense!" she commented, noticing how stiff he'd gone when she kissed him. "Well, then. Mission complete, I guess. Tootles Sevie!" Fae waved then disappeared out into the corridor.  
  
Snape stood there, simply staring at the spot she'd occupied just moments ago. Finally composing himself, he exited the lavatory. While on his way to the dungeons to get back to the Slytherin Common Room, he was pulled into a broom closet by some girl he'd never seen before for a snog session, because, as he stated, he really did look like Sirius Black. So, before he made it to the safety of his Common Room, he was attacked by three more random, but none of them kissed quite like Fae.  
  
A/N: Aw lookie! Snape's gettin' some lovin'! When I showed one of my friends my idea for this story, she wrote, 'SCARY, on so many different levels', which I found to be quite hilarious. If you share the same opinion as her, my answer is the same to you, "Everybody needs a love-life, even Snape!" Well, that was fun. I'm off to something worthwhile now! Oh, and uber thanks to Tush for beta-ing..or whatever!  
  
~Phaerie 


End file.
